We excitedly planned this baby and prayed about this baby and talked about this baby for months. When it was actually time to find about about this baby I felt like I should be giving birth because he or she has been on my mind for so long. During the Fall I felt like someone was missing when we were all in the same room. I've been ready for this little one for a while now, to say the least.
It's been a much different experience knowing that we were "planning" this. Of course, it's ultimately God's plan, but being able to plan with Him felt much more intimate. Instead of accepting a surprise gift of Miles and Grant I feel we got a rare opportunity to know we were doing this alongside Him.
I've never experienced baby fever because I got pregnant before I had a chance. Baby fever sure is something else. I was jealous of all pregnant women, I held new babies like they were my own, and felt myself falling in love with those new baby squeaks and sounds all over again.
Remember how I've written about Patrick's old employee and how she would have dreams about fruit when someone she knew was pregnant? She had them when we got pregnant with both boys. She was actually the one who made me realize that I was pregnant with Grant because of that dream. Well, guess what? The week before we found out she told Patrick she'd been having dreams again. I was so excited to hear this so I took a test but it was negative. "Too early" I told myself, "but I know she's right."
I told Patrick when I'd take the test for real so we could find out together, unlike the past two times when I took it alone. It was morning and Patrick was getting ready for work. He was brushing his teeth when I set the test on the counter. We both looked down and saw it. Positive, bright as day. I was giddy and he just gave me a thumbs up and said "I knew it" and got in the shower. Really!? That's all you're going to say about finding out we're pregnant with our third!? He knew it would happen so he wasn't that surprised, but he was and is excited.
I was too excited and had to get a better reaction so I sent my mom a picture of the test and got a call from a very happy and excited mom. I love that her reaction to finding out about all of her grand kids is like it's the first baby of the family.
We finally told the boys. I wanted to wait until I was a bit farther along so they could see a bigger belly but they like to sit right on my stomach sometimes which really hurts. They don't understand that it hurts even after many, many times of explaining. So, I figured if I told them there was a baby in there they would be more careful. Plus, I was excited to see what they had to say about a new baby.
We heard the heartbeat! It was 171bpm. The highest of both boys, Miles was 156 and Grant was 164. It was a beautiful sound and solidified that there really is a real baby in there. Now I feel a little better knowing I'm feeling crummy for this little one who has a heartbeat. We're looking forward to finding out if it's a boy or girl and seeing that cute button nose on an ultrasound. We get to meet this sweet baby around October 23rd which puts me at 11 weeks. I'm ready. Bring on the newborn!